Not on the menu

The recent thread in magazines and blogs seem to be about last meals. As mentioned in a recent post, famous chefs were asked what they'd have for their last meal, and a book about their intentions was given a spotlight in Time magazine. According to another website, there is a fellow who has documented the last meals of prisoners. In both cases, the theme is comfort food, food that one enjoyed in childhood, what makes us happy and brings back happy memories. Only a few asked for a grand feast, and not many went out on a limb for the strange or unusual (maybe in 20 to 30 years, we'll see requests for a citrus foam on fish noodles).

Since I'm in a somewhat devil's advocate kind of mood, I ask myself, not what I would have for my last meal, but what I would not want. Maybe that is a weird thing to state. Why would you consider things that you wouldn't want to eat at the last day of your life? But I still have a few days of life left (I hope), so this is my chance to state the ff had better not be within 100 feet of my last meal:

fried liver - could never stomach the smell or the taste of fried chicken livers. I like pate, and enjoy a good foie, but will pick out every bit of fried liver in pancit or anything that incorporates it.

ampalaya/bitter gourd - I doubt my mother will be at my deathbed forcing me to eat ampalaya ("it's good for you!"), but I sure hope no one else will try. I'm not the only one with an aversion to this vegetable. It speaks to the worst childhood meal memories for many. I'll haunt anyone who thinks this is something to add to my last meal menu; bonk you on the head with a large adult gourd.

boiled vegetables - perhaps, I should be more specific. Overboiled, sock smelling, no flavor boiled vegetables. There are too many beautiful greens and interesting ways to prepare them. Why would you cook them till the color's bled out and anything interesting is lost?

Bounty or any chocolate candy bar with coconut. I love coconut water, gata, and on some things, dessicated coconut is a necessity (bibingka, palitaw), but I hate the combination of milk chocolate and dessicated coconut. Or whatever they call the white stuff in that bar. And now that I think about it, I'd prefer no drugstore chocolate bars, or Whitman samplers. The sugar content will kill my teeth. I want my full set at death.

No cherry flavored or any fruit flavored liquers. They taste like medicine.

Marshmallow icing on a dry cake. Dry cake, blech. I want moist! I want flavor! and buttercream frosting!

And should I order any sushi/sashimi for that penultimate meal, please make sure the seafood is fresh. Wouldn't it be the ultimate bummer to have freeze dried fish or shrimp that barely has any flavor?

So those are several things I can imagine not wanting at the end. I wonder if a blog is sufficient legal writ for a will? Hmmmm